Life
by Ambrelle Shirak
Summary: A stream of conciousness piece by the ghost of a woman who had been loved by a MaSho.


Author's Note: This is a short piece I wrote while contemplating Rajura one late night. Probably written about eight to ten years ago.

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"Life"

silence is everything everything is silence nothing moves nothing thinks breathes or twitches silence surrounds me i am surrounded by silence i am the trees i am the rocks i am nature nature is me i am one with my surroundings and they shall not harm me nothing can harm silence for silence is the beginning and end while only cacophony fills the middle i was once cacophony i was once sound dissolved into human form i was once human flawed in the way many humans are flawed i was once like you i was once alive my memories are choppy filled with voids filled with silence filled with the nothing that is silence silence is everything silence is me i am silence my life was short and eventful for i lived in that time of warriors that time when the handsome structure of a donjon had hung suspended over toyama city that time when the handsome five boys had battled the forces of evil that stormed out of that donjon I had been alive then a true person full of feelings and easily hurt I knew what it was like to love and be loved he and I my secret lover that is were beautiful together, as beautiful as the sky on a moonless night, as tender as the first snow kissing the dry blades of grass. He and I had a fragile love, one like fires that burnt upon the edge of an icefield, each ready to consume the other at a moments notice. I called him my "Magic man"; I called him "my love". I was his "Snowdrop"; I was his "Angel". We were one, yet we were two. I aided him in his endeavors; I aided his attempts at killing those handsome five boys. I couldn't help it, I love him. What else was I to do?

Now you see... Speaking of my love, I feel more human... I take a full shape. Do you see me now? Floating before you in this sea of black, this sea that is the moonless sky? I can see you, watching me so very carefully, just waiting for me to do something, to perform some great feat of phantasmal rage and anger. I am not bitter.. the Ogre had done only what he must, following the orders of that deranged lunatic. I am not bitter and I will not seek revenge.

My Magic Man was not the type to reveal my presence; he was so careful of his actions never to endanger me. He knew all that he did, and all that he said would be monitored.. at least when that lunatic sent him along. He snuck down to see me, having hidden me away in a plush apartment within the ring of powerless city that had been caused by their arrival. He kept me well fed, well clothed and warm.. yes, oh so very warm...

I still do not know what drew him to me during the take-over. The shadow-beasts, I called them, had herded me into the press of people and were taking me with the rest.. when, suddenly, he appeared, like a knight in shining armor. He lifted me without a word from the crowd and spirited me away to the apartment. At the time, I was frightened, like a small cat, my love once said, and I did not understand what he wished of me. But he only wished my company...

Day after day I would spend with him... he is an amazingly gentle man, at least he was with me. I saw much of the destruction he caused, and witnessed how he toyed with that poor, stocky young boy's mind. It amazed me that my Magic man could be so merciless and cruel. But he never failed to see me, at least every day, every other when things got hot with those five boys. I don't know what prompted him to keep me around such as he did, but as the days wore on slowly, I found myself falling deeply in love...

My Magic man and I, we did many things that I would not do with any other man but him. My Magic man and I, we had plans, dreams, and visions of the future. I still watched him battle, through one of the gifts he gave to me, a diamond, larger than my fist. He was two different men, one with me, one with the five boys. And he especially enjoyed taunting the stocky one. I cannont recall any names, other than the affectionate things my love and I called one another.

But there came a day... there came a day that my love did not come to me.. no, it was his commander, I think. The Ogre... he came to me and demanded of me everything that had been given as a gift by my Magic man. I refused... I would not release anything that held me close to him. But the Ogre would not take my answer.

His wrath was divine his fury was unbelievable. I remember tasting the metallic sweetness of my blood in my mouth and the hearing the shattering of my diamond upon the wall there is nothing after that only silence and me me and silence my life was short and eventful for i lived in that time of warriors but now all that is left is silence and me me and silence we are one i am silence silence is me silence is the beginning silence is the end for my end there is no rest for my end there is no peace only silence the complete deafening and painful silence


End file.
